Bikini Bonini

A tall, heavy, robust preteen with a huge head of curly red hair, Bikini gets her name from her wardrobe, which consists entirely of bikini bathing suits. Imagine Bette Midler as a preteen, or Bart Simpson crossed with Rosie O’Donnell.

Bikini has a strong sense of adventure and humor. She’s so fearless, her parents call her “Bull of the Woods.” She’ll climb any mountain and doesn’t hesitate to point out absurdity wherever she finds it, even in a member of her own family. She’s pragmatic, and has few sacred cows. Except maybe her own importance.

Fiercely competitive, Bikini enters contests, makes bets and takes up new sports all the time. Whatever her goal is, she goes after it no matter who or what is in her way. Though her ambitious schemes often fall short of the mark, Bikini picks herself up after each disaster and carries on, unbowed and determined to succeed the next time.

Bikini is also quite plugged in. She always knows everything that’s going on in Middletown; town bums, crossing guards, recycled newspapers and playground gossip keep her well informed.

Totally comfortable in her own skin, nothing matters to Bikini but Bikini. However, it is easy for her self-assurance to slip into something resembling arrogance; her blunt way of speaking can leave others, and their feelings, behind. Even though she’s often wrong, Bikini is certain that she’s always right; she always knows what everyone else should do. Therefore, her dialogue often takes the form of orders and bold assertions.

Bikini is smart, but not quite as smart as she thinks. A spotty student, she nonetheless possesses a strong mechanical and scientific mind. To this end, she is building a spaceship in one of Bramblewood’s many backyard sheds in order to fly to Venus on her sixteenth birthday. In fact, her spaceship often serves as a starting point for Bikini’s adventures: the necessity for money and parts can send her on a quest for odd jobs, or a disaster out in the “hangar” can wreak havoc at home.

Bikini’s spaceship lives in Bramblewood’s former root cellar, where the Bikini and Kate often work through supper building it out of scrap airplane parts. Bikini has taken her spaceship with her from Katmandu to Kalamazoo on her parents’ endless bug odyssey (they’re entomologists), collecting and losing parts along the way.

Bikini is also quite emotional, and while given to strong bursts of anger or frustration, she can also be loving and nurturing, especially of weaker creatures. Similarly, she’s a sucker for the underdog, and has been known to sit on the perpetrator of an injustice for as long as necessary to extract an admission of guilt, an apology or a change in attitude (and when appropriate, a statement of fealty to Bikini the All-Knowing and Beautiful Queen).

Bikini’s continual need for spaceship parts has engendered a strong entrepreneurial spirit: she’s always on the lookout for ways to make money. If there’s a fire at the local bakery, Bikini will sell cookies on the street corner beside it. If there’s a new city ordinance requiring parking stickers, Bikini will not only enter the design contest, but try to become a distributor. That way, she can profit from a lemonade stand beside the long line out her front door.

As mentioned, Bikini has a bikini for every occasion, and thinks they show her figure off to advantage. The fact that she’s a solid twenty pounds heavy and as a twelve year-old, has not really sprouted a figure, doesn’t even register with her. To Bikini, Bikini is perfect.

In addition to her ubiquitous bikini, Bikini often wears a hip-slug toolbelt with whatever tools she’s been using to build her spaceship or fix the family vehicle (a truck that sounds like an airplane that Bikini built from parts of both). She’s also a fanatic accessorizer: she’s forever grabbing everyday objects to use as adornments, especially fashioning jewelry out of mechanical parts. She often wears jackets to complement the day’s bikini choice.

Bikini is also a great cook, favoring complicated ethnic cuisines made in bulk. This produces not only weird combinations of leftovers as the staple of the Bonini diet, but also quests for unusual ingredients which lead Bikini on adventures.